Truth Time

I'm usually a very difficult to understand person, but under the right influences(namely coffee or alcohol) I become simpler. The culprit for tonight is caffeine. In a futile attempt to fix my sleep cycle, I'm pulling an all-nighter.

I am Frederick. I'm very picky with friends. I think that's why I have so very few real ones. I think myself a victim to avoid feeling guilty about being picky. I like to think a lot. I am prone to paranoia. I'm very competitive but I don't let people see it. I don't express interest in something unless I know I am more than proficient enough at it. I love praise. I am (secretly)romantic. I'm above average in intelligence but I don't like admitting it. I love being smart. I'm good at making myself seem smarter than I am. I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid of things people never even think about, of things most people effortlessly forget. I am afraid of being evil, or seen as evil(in its most insignificant/juvenile definition). I lie, in so many different ways, to everyone and myself, so much so that it makes it hard to see what is true and what isn't, although I am mostly an honest person in insignificant matters. I need validation from others, I rely on it to function properly. I am extremely fragile in specific situations. I don't like getting angry. I am not easily angered, but when I am it rips my mind apart from the inside. I don't notice it a lot, but I consistently despise myself. I rely on conformity but struggle to stick to my beliefs, as do most people. I am afraid of becoming insane. I fear that I am already on my way to insanity. I am in a constant struggle with my mind. There are times when the amount of conflict in my head rises to a level in which I cannot function. I judge people in my head, and judge those who judge others aloud. I feel superior to people in my head, but feel inferior in their presence. I don't believe in God, or rather I don't care enough to think about his existence. I am afraid of people using me. I am afraid of being rejected; of never being good enough.